After many months of waiting, my application to break the world record for eating cream crackers in the fastest possible time has been accepted. All I have to do now is fill in a form and the record attempt is on.

The rules are pretty simple, eat 3 Jacobs cream crackers as fast as you can. You must finish one before starting the other and you must have a man in a white lab coat with a clipboard to record the times.

The record stands at around 47 seconds (will update with the exact time later) and was set by someone called Ambrose Mendy a few years ago. From previous experience and training, this is definitely beat-able – at my peak I was down to 15 seconds each so I’ve got a 2 second window to play with.

There was suggestion in the office today that I could try bananas again, but even if I were to set that record, I’d be thinking of cream crackers, it really is the creme-de-la-creme of the eating record world.

With a lot of effort and maybe a little luck I’ll soon be able to join Usain Bolt (running fast), Mike Powell (jumping far) and Ashrita Furman (pogo sticking) at the world record top table, exalted company indeed!

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1. By the power of Roy and Norris
2. Record breaker
3. The need for speed