I heard back from Guinness today (the world record people not the ones who make that awful drink) (although they are probably the same)
After many months of waiting, my application to break the world record for eating cream crackers in the fastest possible time has been accepted. All I have to do now is fill in a form and the record attempt is on.
The rules are pretty simple, eat 3 Jacobs cream crackers as fast as you can. You must finish one before starting the other and you must have a man in a white lab coat with a clipboard to record the times.
The record stands at around 47 seconds (will update with the exact time later) and was set by someone called Ambrose Mendy a few years ago. From previous experience and training, this is definitely beat-able – at my peak I was down to 15 seconds each so I’ve got a 2 second window to play with.
There was suggestion in the office today that I could try bananas again, but even if I were to set that record, I’d be thinking of cream crackers, it really is the creme-de-la-creme of the eating record world.
With a lot of effort and maybe a little luck I’ll soon be able to join Usain Bolt (running fast), Mike Powell (jumping far) and Ashrita Furman (pogo sticking) at the world record top table, exalted company indeed!
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Tags: cream crackers, dedication's what you need, Record Breakers
Seriously, don’t do bananas. I don’t know these people, but if I saw you practicing, I’d consider putting it on the internet.
Step away from the bananas.
(oh and they are bad for you too in large quantities…. one and a half points for a medium banana on Weight Watchers. Don’t be a fat man with bananas jammed in your face.)
WOAH! Chris, bananas are GOOD for you.
They contain nothing but good stuff for your body (see below). Typically a banana has about 103 calories in it. You’d need to eat 19 bananas to make up your average calorific intake per day.
But based on a normal, balanced diet, a banana or two a day is an awesome snack or dessert.
Protein: 1.09g
Fat: 0.33g
Carbohydrate: 22.84g
Sugar: 12.23g
Calcium: 5mg
Iron: 0.26mg
Potassium: 358mg
Sodium: 1mg
Zinc: 0.15mg
Selenium: 1 microgram
Vitamin C: 8.7mg
Weight Watchers is a pile of rat droppings! Sod what points things are – just read how many calories are in your food (McArdle, Katch and Katch is a good resource), and then as long as your calories are less than 2000 per day (more if you are active, less if you are a fat, lazy b@st@rd like me), then you won’t gain weight. Especially on a diet of just bananas!
Hey don’t get me wrong – bananas are the best fruit and I even had one today. In their convenient little package they are the most accessible and transportable of all fruits so in that respect, I am a fan.
For a world record food eating attempt I think they are a poor choice because (1) it leaves Rich open to derisory comments and possible internet infamy, and (2) they are comparitively bad for you.
Weight Watchers (who weigh up saturated fat + calories as an accessible method of calculating calory intake) award an apple a whole 1 point less than a banana. So in context, if you are allowed 25 points in a day, you can eat a lot more food if you ditch bananas and go for other fruit.
Bananas have 103 calories, an apple has 59. You can eat almost twice as many apples.
Katch – was he that schizophrenic dude that was involved in McArdle, Katch & Katch?.